I feel so out of sorts. I feel like life is pulling me in all different directions and as if I am just standing in the middle of all of it ... and not moving. Yesterday was a really bad day for me at work and I ended up at home literally crying my eyes out. Poor Pepper sat curled up next to me not knowing what was going on... he gets so stressed when I am like that.
I canceled all my plans for this weekend - I don't have the energy to be social or go out. It is so difficult to be up and happy when you feel like nothing inside. I feel lost, lonely, disconnected... it is a scary place to be in. I know that I am on the border of something serious, but I have to try and snap out of it. It isn't healthy for me to be in this place and it is a double edged sword - to not stay in this state I need to get out and socialize but I don't have the energy to be out socializing. I am going to go home tonight and just crawl into bed and go to sleep. Maybe that will help. Even writing isn't making me feel any better, sadly. I amn't even really hungry anymore - now that is scary. That is when you know things are not good.
1 comments:
I was very touched by the last entry you wrote about your family member passing away. During times like these I do not know the exact words to say other than I hope the best for the upcoming new year and holiday season for you.
With kindest regards,
Tom Bailey
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