I've come a long way baby ;)

I was raised to always give people a second chance, give them the benefit of the doubt, try to empathize and see the good in everyone.  I still try to keep that rule with many people that I know, but it hasn't really served me well in the romance and dating department.  Giving second chances (to cheating partners) only lead to more cheating, giving the benefit of the doubt only lead to more doubt within myself and it was, to say the least, more detrimental to me than to anyone else.  

What I have noticed in the past few months, is that I am learning to stick to my guns and not let people treat me badly anymore.  I am not willing to give second chances and if I do they need to be earned and not just given anymore (like I was doing in the past).  It is an empowering feeling because what that does is give me the control over my life and not leave me hanging and waiting on someone else to decide anything.  It's my choice to make, not theirs. 

I think the catalyst was when I finally realized that Tall Dark and Handsome and I were never going to go any further than where we were and that in essence, I was enabling him to be the way he was.  I never pushed to get more or have it become more and I was quite passive most of the way.  When I did put up a struggle his solution:  disappear for a while and then woo me back.  And it worked for quite a while.  But not this time.  I made the promise to myself that I wouldn't settle anymore, that I wouldn't be an option for anyone when I made them a priority in my life.  I made the break - a clean, painful one and since then, it has been almost as if I were re-born or transformed.  I don't take crap from men.  If you mess up... second chances are hard to get.  If he apologizes (and is sincere), he can start from the beginning again and work his way back to prove it.   I am totally worth the effort and if someone doesn't think that I am then they aren't meant to be with me.

Let me be honest here - I have come to the realization that I will most likely never meet a man who is right for me.  I am what they term the "Eternal Bachelorette" and I can say that it isn't all that bad from my perspective right now.  I do miss having a special someone who will support me, but I have been taking care of myself for almost 26 odd years alone, so what are a few more, right???  

A year ago, you would never have even heard me utter any of these thoughts.  I was a different person then, possibly weaker willed and a bit blinded by one-sided love.  But I see my value now and realize that if I don't see it and respect then no one else will either.  I've come a long way baby ;)